July 13th – Mothering Never ends: nor do I want it to.

When the babes were small, there were days I looked forward to them being grownup,  big people.  Sometimes the sheer volume of work that raising children requires makes one tired.  I remember thinking that one day, they will be gone, and my life will turn to a simple, even pace, where time would be on my side.  My adult children would care for themselves, be independent  and while being involved in their lives….it would be simple.
I now have adult children who are accomplished, responsible and independent ….and life is anything but simple.
2 weeks ago, Scott texts me saying he is really, really sick, so I tell him to come home and I will take care of him.  I arrived home that Monday evening to find him laying in his old bedroom, sick as can be.    Over the next few days as he moved from being deathly ill to just sick, moving downstairs in the evenings  it was a joy to have him in the house.  All those mothering feelings that lay so close to the surface, ready to pop up when needed, rose and  I had to remind myself that he was an adult, care for him but not coddle.  When better he left and life settled back to normal.
This morning while busy at work, the phone rang at 9:15 and on the other end I hear Adelaide talking before I hear the thready, pain filed  soft voice of Stephanie.   Before she says barely a few words I know she is in unbearable pain.  Right side, lower quadrant…  I call Debbie who runs over to check on her and when I get the call back, it is Debbie saying she should go to the dr.  I leave work, thankfully the freeways are clear and while Debbie scoops up Adelaide along with her diaper bag filled with needed items for the day, I gather Stephanie and get her in the truck.  While in the ER being tended to by the same nurse that was Jeff’s just a month ago, those same mothering feelings surfaced.  Although married to a most wonderful and caring husband, those mothering feelings never leave.  I wanted my baby to be pain free and well.  I wanted to take care of her, to hold her hand, give reassurance that she was doing the right thing going to the dr, that no she could not have stayed at home to wait it out.  (what was she thinking!) After pain meds and ultra sound it was determined that it was not appendicitis and that with more pain meds she could go home.    Dressed again in her raggy sweats, hair piled on top of her head we dropped off her prescription, bought the wanted blueberry bagel with cream cheese and OJ. Picked up the filled prescription (shops were in the same shopping center) and drove home.  With a quick kiss and ‘I love you’, I left her in the house, Adelaide at Debbie’s and went back to work.
To anyone who might think I overstepped the Mother In Law line:  I don’t think I did.  Jim is incredibly busy at work this week as he has vacation next week to run wild with the boy scouts in Zion’s park.
Something new I learnt about Stephanie; One time while I was giving Jim an update, she said, ‘tell him I am fine, so he won’t worry about me-he has a tender heart for me’.   The mother in me had that heavy chest and moist eyes.  While he was worried about her, she was worried for him.   And all was good in my world.

Babes grow, and no matter where they are in their lives…you never stop caring, aching or hurting with them.